Love Is Simple

There was once a wedding…And the song was simple. It went like this……………..
"Don't be afraid, it's only love…….."  I was happy to be there.
My Friends and fellow swimmers, please do not expect too much. I decided to break with format this time and include as a journal something that I should have never said as a personal message*(follow the asterisk for sanity's sake) . I should not even do this, but I have been failing to be clear of mind in what I began to write about (the nature of water) a month ago. It is a failing brought about by both confusion and an intensity of …."love". So, for the time being, this is something I wrote, and repeat with the kind permission of the one I wrote it to. I skipped the beginning (boring) and made two changes chiefly. One is a word omission. Ask me personally, and I will tell you why. The other is a grammar mistake. I don't know now if I agree with this sentiment in total, and I have been corrected already to a degree. I would state in my defense that the ideas presented are an abstract that were originally meant to explain, though I live these things, and cannot adequately describe them. In the end, love is quite simple+
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJhBWk…
In the world of action and reaction, I live quite madly, and laugh often. My point (possibly) is that what we do, what we actually do, defines the language, or IS the language that we try, and in my case, utterly fail, to describe in words. So pardon this, hahaha, deviation….
So, To hit the ground running, a "personal" message ……
……….."and that has more than contributed to my unease, as well as my utter confusion and lack of wordplay. A long while back, I wrote of my fortune as "I hit the ground running....with my face". It is maybe more a local play on words than I am happy to admit, but what I meant was that I executed a smooth breakup to rebound perfectly apart from the fact that I destroyed myself in the process. Sounds stupid when I try to explain it, so hopefully you got it the first time I said it. That is the problem with jokes in general. They don't extend like they should. And mine are so obscure, they are mostly for myself and two others at the very most!!! So.........about love. I may be repeating myself, and not for the first time, when I say that I love without reservation. And I see the normal distinction of "love", which is really a very silly word with less definition than there is proof of ----, as totally lacking in solid interpretation. There are "forms", like phileo, which I don't know how to spell. Demonstrated. But I don't think such things actually exist. It is, to me, a purely situational, if not a bracketed metaphysical (and forced at that) distinction of something utterly indistinct. I am saying that love is ill defined, and it should be [better defined], if we are to talk about it. What else does anyone talk about? I should point out that this is where I go crazy and talk of the troubadours and pop music. I won't. It's my crazy, and it takes ages. I should just write a book about it and collect my ten dollars! People always talk of "love" but without any idea what it is they are actually describing. Problem! So what I MEAN is love. No condition, only situational constraint. Is it a burning over a slow fire? Is it a flash of light that quickly disappears? Is it the look in the eye of a beggar on the street?
I see all and all the same love. I see them the same. I was in the middle of a break up, and fell deeply in love with a beggar holding a cardboard sign next to a freeway onramp. In that case, one love begat another, but I think this is probably always the case. I may have talked at end with no purpose or passed my point a while ago. Love, affection, it is natural to us. What I have been trying, and failing, to write is about all this. In one sense, it is life affirming life. It is mutual affirmation of our existence, and also of our humanity. It is often what is best, and weakest about us. At some point we all accept some conditional situation of A definition of love. Perhaps later, we accept another. But what do we accept? Surely, to love is good, or so we are told, but just what are we getting ourselves into?
I myself wonder all the time about these issues.
I cannot help but think that lust is a factor in this. At least, for me. But lust cannot be so far behind. Perhaps not always a factor, lust has ever been the scapegoat for failure in this regard. Lust has been given a bad name. I don't think it should have such a denigrated status as it has. It serves a purpose, and is strangely far more well defined in character than love has ever been. Am I saying that love and lust are one and the same, or nearly so? Of course not. but I don't think they are as far apart as most wish they were. If love is the magic of ineffable lightness of the soul, then lust is the wand. Joke. Here's what I think. I think we should hold a bit more skepticism about this thing we call "love". And I think we should give lust a break.
That said, I am all for any lust or love or everything in between that can be had. The universe is vast, and full of empty. And life for most is cruel and sad. But let us not fool ourselves with ill defined nonsense, and the decor of utopia ("no place")
Let us, instead, love each other. And yes, lust if we must. But I think you see my point. It is all about how we try to define ourselves. We must improve the language, or think beyond it. We create these definitions ourselves, so let us make that world. Let us discard what is not useful, and what is hurtful. What comes naturally to us is what is so ill defined as love.
In light of what keeps happening all around us, Colorado and Oslo, for two, I see that we have the ability to leave that nature behind us by our own will. I prefer to that fucking in the streets, to be honest.
And as this was meant to be somewhat honest for a start, I hit the ground running....
I did. And lust as well. Both are there in almost equal measure. And isn't that a fine thing? ……"

And, as to that story, I really cannot say. Pictures do much better. And I will have one at least in a moment from this.
These are the ramblings of a very confused brain, so try to be kind. I was on a rant. And that may be more telling than what I did say. I have had some trouble thinking clearly lately, and doing TWO woodblocks of the same thing is testament to that. I did, and do, apologize for my crazy ramblings, but never for the passion that caused that particular fuse to blow in my brain. THAT, my dear friends, is pure beauty. And the path to crazy town, of course. But I enter that space willingly. And with some humanity and good will. But that is the journal about water, I think……so…..
Even though this has taken far more space that I would bother to read, feel free to scroll here*, and I'm glad I did that!
I would like to welcome some new watchers and friends here, while I am here, present, and talking too much:
Thank you for being my friends, and thank you for each and everything you have said and done.
I have to put so much off in this long interruption of a journal. But I have not forgotten.
I want to also mention some others here that have made such a huge difference in my life recently. Some old friends and some new friends
First
Always and forever a dear love
touched by your words, and never forgotten. You are a magnificent human soul.
thank you so much for your kindness and friendship
new name, same black heart. Sorry. Brilliant friend.
You should have been honored last time. You are an amazing friend to me. I appreciate you more than I can say.
While a new friend, an amazing one. I enjoy your words, which is to say what I cannot do quickly or cheaply. My best is AOIAK.
You are a source of faith. Encouragement. I am glad we know each other. I have faith in you as well. Please know that.
I can only say one word. That word is Love. You make my heart sing, dear. Promise.
I know I have been slow, but be patient. I love everything you send my way. I shall respond.
Though we have barely met, I am awed by your wonderful nature. Thank you.
I really don't know what to say. You are one of the sweetest and kindest friends I have known. I am so glad you exist, and even more that you are a friend.  
Always. And with some amount of crazy.
I don't know why I find you the sanest of my friends. I hope one day that I will be like you. You are completely insane, and yet, so very wonderful. So giving, so loving, and so very casual about all of it.
I have left out dear Mona, Ana, Canan, KD, Chan, 19C, Joe M, PK, sweet Kelly, Tcorey, Offer (happy birthday), Minty ( ), Metal, Sidh,  Ashaa, Serenity, hija-de-luna!!!!!!,
and too many more of you.... But I appreciate you, and will make that right. And to those I did not mention, I want still to focus on you, even if I do it one at a time. I am glad for my friends here, But I have left two off on purpose.
The first is Chery

You are ever an inspiration to me, and you have more than gone out of your way for everyone I can think of,. You have also given me so much praise and honour on top of being such a solid and kind friend. You are my Shining Star for 2012!
I can never thank you enough. Nor will I try. It is good, then, that I also love your work, and fell in love at first sight.
My love, My admiration, and my continual adoration, dear friend.
:thumb270217312: :thumb272993971: :thumb252191054: :thumb210004865: :thumb157646017: :thumb165143077: :thumb157438854: :thumb156802903: :thumb183628687: :thumb140992143:

The other is very much someone I want to single out. She has been DAILY a source of inspiration, co-conspiraton, and selflessness. During my utterly weird and wild times of late, we have become (I think) much closer friends and now I turn my weary head to her, with fewer emoticons than I have for anyone. As Belvane said to me, in my paraphrase of her words, I have only words to express this. Huge paraphrase, but having proper words is better, I think.
I speak of someone that is very much in my mind and loved in my thoughts

WhenWhen I'm tired, I just sit and admire the landscape of my dreams.
- I don't  want to ask,  if they ever come true. -
When I'm blue, I just look through my window and I see the clouds.
- I don't want to ask,  if they hide the Eternity. -
When I'm stupid, I just run over the letters of an old book.
- I don't want to ask , if the human race's wisdom, could light up, the intelligence of locked minds. -
When I'm selfish, I just pray for a miraculous cure of my existence.
- I don't want to ask if it is possible. -
When I'm beautiful, I just find all the colours of life variety.
- I don't want to ask, how many worlds had to die for this rainbow. -
When I'm generous, I just give all the kindness of my purity.
- I don't want to ask which perfume has the happiness. -
When I love, I just conduct my soul orchestra and play for you, the most wonderful symphony ever composed.
- I don't want to ask, what happens if I am not able to love nevermore. - MonologueI want to ask you a question:
- Do you know what LOVE is?
Your silence is very enlightening...
- Do you want to know?
Your silence is very touching...
Let's see!
Love is our most near at hand sublime.
We argue with..., we conciliate with..., we annoyed with..., we talk with..., we dance with ..., we dream with...,we suffer with..., we admonish with..., we walk with..., we enjoy with ..., we tell... how much we love , we live with... and most of all, we die without...!
I am not surprised that such a common thing is so ignored.
Your silence is very deafening...
I have to go now!
- Did you said something?.
............................................................................................................................
I'm very sorry, my love, is too late, I can't hear you anymore.

Beautiful thoughts for you…

Two more things:
The first is that for anyone that read my journal about Ray, I have recently seen him. He is well, and alive. I haven't known for all this time, but he seems to be making an acceptable recovery. And he is in good humor. Thank you to all those concerned.

And second, I am in the process of making T-shirts. It is an odd idea, but I am very keen about it. If you have any preferences, I would love to know. I am doing four or five designs, and I have decided to limit them to woodblocks only. Two are pretty much for sure at this point, but I would love input as to what the rest will be. Please please let me know. If you think it is a bad idea entirely, I want to know that, too.
More on that soon.

Also,  please visit and give my dear friends Chery and Selina (Sesam) your love.
And  visit He is an amazing photographer. Send him my love as well.

As to the woodblocks, the journey into madness, the film "The Fisher King", and the nature of water, I will continue to try and write my sideways confessional. It is personal, and I hope to return to "normal" very soon. For now, this is far too many words for anyone!!!!
For the now, This Is Mine ++
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISyGVs…
So, dear swimmers, I am excited and ecstatic to say
"I am going to bunnies"

AOIAK,
D.


+ Akron/Family
++Angels of Light